of course, moaning about how next week is so full and that i try to keep sleeping early, and end up sleeping at 3 am everyday doesn't really help until i do something about it. my posts are always so short these days. it's not because that i don't have time. its just that sitting here in front of the keyboard leaves me with this feeling that i just try my best to forget about.
of course, its not possible that i keep running away from it. but i try. everything i do is just a temporary distraction away from the reality, from the missing piece. is it out necessity? is it monkey see monkey do? is it real?
people talk about relationships like it is worth only that much. but i don't. most of my classmates in polytechnic has already been through a few. but not me. i know it is a long shot, a one in a billionth chance that the first is THE one, but i am holding out for the fact that it might come true. problem is, i don't know how i will know.
my LTC group is pretty well bonded with each other. of course, the 4 days together on pulau sibu did work magic. a week back or so, we had a barbecue together - the sort of get-together after the camp. and after having our fun cooking, and eating, we found ourselves talking about who would we prefer dating: a person from a single sex school, or mixed. unusual topic for an 'after meal' talk, it was an interesting one. it got me thinking, and truth to be told, a few years before i would have answered 'single sex' without hesitation; but now, i couldn't come up with a answer.
and i still wonder why.
i feel like i am watching everything from space
and in a minute i'll hear my name and wake up
please just see it in my eyes
so beautiful, so clear
reach out...and take it
cos i'm so tired of all this fear
l288
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